Dark Chocolate Dipped Ginger Altoids

August 28, 2008
3 min. read

Dark Chocolate Dipped Ginger Altoids. Yes, it sounds weird. I don’t understand how they made it through marketing. I don’t think they had any type of focus group for these. I have a rule that I will try anything once, as long as there isn’t a high likelihood of death. I think this is why blowfish is so expensive, for the malpractice insurance for those that die after eating it. I don’t plan on trying blowfish any time soon. But I’m game for Dark Chocolate Dipped Ginger Altoids.

Warning: An Experience

Warning: An Experience

Let me see if I can take you through it. You pop this mint in your mouth pretty quick. See this isn’t an M&M. it will melt in your hand. So you have to pop it in quick. And if you wait too long, you might just lose your nerve.

The first flavor that you get is dark chocolate. Some people like dark chocolate, but I prefer milk chocolate. So I’m dealing with the chocolate when the other flavors start. Imagine that your are eating the most over-spiced pumpkin pie that you have ever tasted… but it is covered in dark chocolate.

That was mildly strange. After some time, the chocolate has been sucked off and you are just sucking on a piece of pumpkin pie. Well sort of. But you have been desensitized to the spice, so it seems a little like pumpkin pie. But something is hiding there.

The heat starts to pour in. It makes sense. I had forgotten that these were Altoids. And they are curiously strong. I should have expected this. So the heat is building and I feel like I am eating a super hot radish. That is covered in ginger.

Now, after you have had an Altoids, your breath is usually fresh. It has to be, because you have burned off a the top four layers of skin in your mouth.

But this is different. My breath smells worse. It is actually making me gag. A breath mint shouldn’t make your breath worse. My breath is like I left a pumkin pie in a hot car all day. A really old car. With a gym bag. Really bad breath.

Now it should have been a clue when Julie put out the Altoids tin. She said that she tried a few and wasn’t sure about how they taste. They are now available for others to sample. I should have seen something there, because you protect the Altoids. You make sure that no one is around and sneak one out quick and then hide it again.

After all of this, if you are offered a Dark Chocolate Dipped Ginger Altoids, try one. It is an experience. Maybe not a good one, but good lives are chains of experiences.

But please get a real mint before you come around me to breathe all your pumpkin pie breath on me.

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